


I (We) Just Didn’t Know

by darklightangel64



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Dean's POV, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Sick Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4818818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklightangel64/pseuds/darklightangel64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes we forget to look at the world around us, at the people by our side. At changes that are so noticeable if we would just look. Sometimes we're so busy with our lives and we think there's always tomorrow. But what if there isn't? What if there's only today and you just didn't know it? Dean finds these words to be self evident when he finds out that Castiel is sick, but is it too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I (We) Just Didn’t Know

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Twist and Shout](https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876) by [gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriel/pseuds/gabriel), [standbyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/standbyme/pseuds/standbyme). 



We had been together for three and half years and ever since we moved in together a year and half ago he asks me the same question every morning: “Do you promise me today?” And every day I would say yes. That’s all he ever asked of me never tomorrow only today. His parents were divorced his grandparents too. They all ended badly and that made Cas bitter about the future. All he knows is how easily love vows are broken.  
That day was an important day for me but Cas wanted me to stay home with him. He knew I had been waiting for today’s banquet for weeks and this morning he promised to come. But by the time I got home he wholly refused to go and begged me to stay home with him. I was furious today was an important day for me, the day I could be given partner if I was able to impress the right people.  
In the end he gave up and told me that I should go. Saying that he wasn’t any one to stop me from my future. He didn’t come with me; I made the right impression and the following week I got partner. I was a fool; I should have just stayed home with him. But I just didn’t know.

That day was the last day he asked: “Do you promise me today?” The busier I got the more Cas wanted to be together. I always told him that there would be time for that in the future and he would give me one of his sad smiles. Until he just stop asking me to make time for him. The days got busier and busier and we didn’t see each other as much if at all.  
It felt wrong, I could never get the nerve to ask him why he stopped asking me his question; we didn’t spend as much time together as we use to and I missed him. A month after my promotion I made plans to do something special with him. 

The day came and the glee in his face made me both miserable and happy. I was happy to see him this way and miserable that I hadn’t given him a reason till now to show it. I asked him why he didn’t ask me his question anymore. He replied: “Because I don’t need to anymore, I already know the answer.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. He finally believed me, believed that I loved him that there could be only him. I knew right there and then that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is my other half, he makes me whole.

That night was full of tender kisses. I worshiped his body like never before. I left love bites all over his body, marking him, making him mine. I caressed every inch of his body paying close attention to his hole. It clenched and unclenched wanting me in it. I loosen him gradually as I stroked his manhood with my tongue. I was slow and gentle. When he was ready for me I aligned myself at his entrance and pushed in as I kissed him passionately. Once inside I revered in the feeling of being fully inside of him. It was warm, tight and mine, only mine. I kissed him gently and didn’t move until he started squirming sweetly under me. Every time I pushed in I would whisper into his ear sweet nothings. He squirmed even more beneath me and begged me to go faster. But I kept our sweet slow pace, I want to make this moment last as long as I could. He came before me and clenches me tightly as if he never wanted to let me go. Then I came filling him to the brick.

In the aftermath of our lovemaking I told him “I love you and there could never be anyone-“he cuts me short with a chaste kiss. “Don’t.” He whispers before kissing me once more. I knew he didn’t like it when I would say things like this because of his insecurities but I thought that we were passed it. This was the first time he every stopped me from saying it.

Another month and half passed before I had gotten the nerve and his parents’ permission as well as the blessing from his best friend to ask him to marry me. We visited his favorite museum, went to his favorite restaurant, and listen to his favorite music on our way to his favorite park, the park where we meet. 

“Why are we going to all my favorite places?” He asked me as we stared out to the small lake in the park.  
“They are not just your favorite place, they are our favorite places.” I respond.  
“Since when?”  
“Since I realized that they all reflect you and who you are. I will let you in on a little secret.” I look around and whisper in his ear. “You’re my favorite person.”  
He blushes and shoves me.  
“You’re an idiot.”  
“Yes but I’m your idiot.” He smiles and it blows me away. “Do you remember when we meet?”  
“Of course, I do Dean. It was here.”  
I turn to him. “I want you to remember it for a different reason.” He gives me a quizzing look. “Castiel you used to ask me to promise you today but I want to promise you more than that. I want to promise you every day of my life.”  
I take out a little box and present it to him. He starts to cry and shake his head. “No, no, no.” He collapses on his knees and cries harder. I kneel down in front of him caressing away his tears.  
“Baby, I know that you’re afraid. But I love you. There can never be anyone but you.”  
He sobs. “Please, don’t say that.”

In the end he rejected me and left our home that very night. I couldn’t understand it. Back then there was no way I could. I was angry and frustrated. I gave us both some needed space then called to check on him when he hadn’t called me or come back home.

No one knew where he was not his parents; not his closes friends, not even his baby brother. That came hounding me for questions but neither one of us knew anything. Sam confessed that he had come to him the night I proposed but he didn’t say anything about it then left two days later. I called his work but they said he quit. 

It wasn’t until nine days later that Sam called me with a misery laced voice. He talked and everything made sense but at the same time nothing made sense.  
I got in my car and drove. I passed the double door and asked for his room. I opened the door and there he was in bed with…

With tubes sticking out of his skin and connected to a heart monitor. I can hear the monitor speed up as I walked towards him. His face is pale with shock.

“You’re not supposed to be here. Who told you?”  
I stand beside him. “Is this why?”  
He takes a deep breath before meeting my eyes. “Yes.”  
“…”  
I fall on my knees and hold his hand. I cried because I should have known, I should have known.  
“Dean?”  
“I should have known.”  
“You couldn’t have…I didn’t want you to know.”  
I look up at him. “I should have known something was wrong, I should have done things differently, I should have...”  
He cuts me off. “Shush, it’s okay. What’s important is that you now understand. Go home. Be happy with someone else.”  
I stand up abruptly. “And that’s it?! Almost four years of our lives together and I’m supposed to go home and be happy with someone else? I don’t want anyone else, I want you. Don’t you understand? It could only ever be you.”  
“I’m dying! Don’t YOU understand that? We shouldn’t… we can’t be together.”  
“You want me to leave?” I yell at him.  
He replies just loud enough for me to catch. “Yes.” 

I did leave and but returned an hour later which seems to shock Cas.

“You’re back?” He says smiles briefly but schools his emotions. “You shouldn’t have.”  
“Ask me?”  
“Ask you what?”  
I get closer to his bed. “Ask me what you always ask me every morning since we started living together. Ask me.”  
“What? No, Dean.”  
“Please.”  
He studies me for a moment. “Why?”  
“Just ask me.”  
“…D-Do you promise me today?”  
I pull out the box and open it up. “Yes” I take out the ring and hold out my hand for his, “and every day after today.”  
Uncertain he asks. “Don’t you understand? I’m not worth it.”  
“You’re an idiot…but I love you anyway. I am done wasting the time we have so don’t push me away. You are more than worth it. Even if it’s just for a fleeting moment or a lifetime I need you, I want to be with you and if your snoring can’t keep me away than this won’t either.”  
“Hey.” He smiles and gives me his hand. I slide the ring on it. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”  
We kiss gently on the lips. Our foreheads press together and we both shed a tear. We don’t know how many tomorrow we have but we do have today. We just didn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> I had written the story first but couldn’t pick which pairing to put for the story none of my favorites felt right (Drarry, Sterek, Merthur, Jakeward, Kevedd,). But then I read this amazing and sad Destiel fan fiction called Twist and Shout which I strongly recommend but be forewarned it will make you cry, in fact I can no longer listen to Love Me Tender by Elvis without getting teary eye, but it’s one of the best I have ever read. Therefore, in honor of that beautiful story I made this one a Destiel fan fiction.


End file.
